Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What Men Know About Women.

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering.

Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.

How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.

Why don't men often show their true feelings?
Because they don't have any. 1