Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.

How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.

What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant.

Q: Why don't men often show their true feelings?
A: Because they don't have any. 1